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Monday, February 28, 2011

Survivor: Donkey Poker Round 5

OMG, what a night.

First off, it was just a silly silly distracting night. But I think I am PokerSlut Season XX winnarwinnarchickindinnar... Of course, I kind of bought it, spewing for 11 rebuys/addon, then outlasting Gadzooks to make sure I held on for the victory and cashed 3/8 to make a 40 cent profit.

Which just goes to show, overall series championships can be won by the most persistent player, not the best player. Of course, that means I'm going to try to go back to back anyway because I'm a monkey.

Then, the multi-entry Survivor tourney. Ok, so it's really like a Matrix SNG that never ends. Joy, I hated those.

My first two entries couldn't win flips. My other two make the final table out of 81 entries. So I got that going for me to at least break even.

I really nitted up and didn't do anything amazing until the final table. Then I pulled the usual Heff Suckout Rungoot (95 into Q5, hit a 9, KT into TT, hit a K, then ran AA into AQ, flopping a set, seeing a flush hit the turn, but filling up on the river) and had a chip lead with four players left. I was feeling goot and having fun.

Then the wife and nanny show up and tell me there's a water leak downstairs in the basement. Oh Joy.

Now, of course I'm like, WTF, it's 12:30, how does this happen? Obviously, everyone knows where the master shutoff is, it's in the basement, and I don't hear a leak. By now I'm off of BDR and try to ask what exactly is going on. while trying to play and win. After all, I have my priorities, and I don't know if this is a major leak or a drip.

Eventually, I have to look at the laundry room (right above the leak) and the garage, and end up guessing that maybe all the rain combined with the tree that was on our roof for a week after the last big snow, may have sprung a leak from the roof through the walls that let go tonight in the basement. Water downstairs was visible, but minimal - didn't seem like something from a leaking pipe or from the washer. I guess I get to be more of a detective Monday. But it was less of a gusher and more of a slow drip that had run its course by the time I looked at it.

All of which is to say, after the AA hand, I didn't even notice what was going on. I look back now and it wouldn't have mattered anyway - I never had a hand and would have had to manufacture every pot for the last 25 hands I basically missed. GG NYRambler for pwning me HU.

2/81 is another good result for me. Dawn Summers says buh-bye.
Team Fish is down to minnows.

Meanwhile I've finished 1st or 2nd three of the five tourneys. Luckbox, I know.

Alpha squirrel, I guess.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Survivor: Donkey Poker Round 4

So, uh, that wasn't as fruitful as the series has been for me so far...

I spewed a lot early, mostly to VeryJosie , who I put the SuperBounty on b/c she had to repeatedly call me out this week...

She valuetowned me early with AQ v Q8 while I was defending my blind and the Q hit the turn - I got it back making a nut flush vs. her really weak top pair - then I took a chance trying to take her out with 44 vs. AT when she jammed over my raise for 17BB and she hit the river.

After that, I just hung out for 30 minutes until this brilliance...

The easy call is, I got HEFFED.

The real call is, at least when I do this stupid shit, I raise and jam and make people call off, not flat OOP for almost 1/2 effective stacks with 64s.

Full Tilt Poker Game #28477543748: The Mookie (219825226), Table 7 - 40/80 - No Limit Hold'em - 22:47:31 ET - 2011/02/23
Seat 1: HarmanIsHot (3,085)
Seat 2: HighOnPoker (6,255)
Seat 3: KeepFloppin (2,525)
Seat 4: Maniac57 (3,570)
Seat 5: pushmonkey72 (2,875)
Seat 6: scottc25 (4,540)
Seat 7: heffmike (2,315)
Seat 8: ReRivers (2,790)
Seat 9: hoyazo (3,480)
HarmanIsHot posts the small blind of 40
HighOnPoker posts the big blind of 80
The button is in seat #9
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to heffmike [Qs Ac]
KeepFloppin folds
Maniac57 folds
pushmonkey72 raises to 240
scottc25 folds
Maniac57: some Mr. T wanna be is like rich today
heffmike raises to 1,000
ReRivers folds
hoyazo folds
HarmanIsHot folds
HighOnPoker has 15 seconds left to act
HighOnPoker folds
pushmonkey72 has 15 seconds left to act
heffmike: you know I'm getting there anyway
pushmonkey72 calls 760
*** FLOP *** [6h 9d 4d]
pushmonkey72 checks
heffmike bets 1,315, and is all in
Maniac57: lol id put Pushmonkey suckout vs Heffmike anyday
pushmonkey72 calls 1,315
heffmike shows [Qs Ac]
pushmonkey72 shows [6s 4s]
*** TURN *** [6h 9d 4d] [Qh]
Maniac57: see
*** RIVER *** [6h 9d 4d Qh] [Jd]
KeepFloppin: 64
heffmike shows a pair of Queens
pushmonkey72 shows two pair, Sixes and Fours
pushmonkey72 wins the pot (4,750) with two pair, Sixes and Fours
heffmike: wow
KeepFloppin: jsees
HighOnPoker: dawn has immunity?
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 4,750 | Rake 0
Board: [6h 9d 4d Qh Jd]
Seat 1: HarmanIsHot (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 2: HighOnPoker (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 3: KeepFloppin didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: Maniac57 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: pushmonkey72 showed [6s 4s] and won (4,750) with two pair, Sixes and Fours
Seat 6: scottc25 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 7: heffmike showed [Qs Ac] and lost with a pair of Queens
Seat 8: ReRivers didn't bet (folded)
Seat 9: hoyazo (button) didn't bet (folded)

To be honest, it's one of those specific spots where I'm going to get it in no matter what given stack sizes and opponents, so whatever, I can't complain. Most of the time this works out for me, especially when the Queen on the turn puts me ahead of like ALL of pushmonkey72's range - but that'll happen, out 35/42.

Oh, and FU WAFFLES for calling this in advance, fucking Nostradamus. Go play some chess. :-)

Thanks to Jamyhawk's run - Team Fish had to vote another teammate off. and they bounced Hoy - which is just so appropos. Period.

Of course, then I spewed 2-3 BI at 100NL Rush by having people spike runner runner with overpairs vs. a flopped top two pair... not once, twice, but three times. - which, if you run the numbers, is really hard to do 3/3 times. Just the other day I mentioned I only had one losing Rush session all year, which was just asking for the anvil to fall on my head....

This is probably why I don't play cash games all the time. I expect bullshit/run bad in tourneys, but not so much in cash. Which should really be the complete opposite of normal expectation... and probably why I've always been a better tourney player than cash - my mindset just deals better with the swings.

Anyhow, let me try and make it back playing randoms instead of bloggers and get my head right for the first multi-entry tourney I'm ever going to play Sunday night....

Monday, February 21, 2011

How to beat top pair: spike, of course...

DDionysus (Observer): what's with all the Heffhate?
heffmike: I get there too often.
heffmike: I guess
heffmike: If I lost more, I get more luv

So, how does the shortstack for the vast majority of a blogger tourney final table manage to become winnerwinnerchickendinner?

I mean, I have a secret formula I utilize combining ideal bluffing frequency, optimally sized value bets, and a customized HU display with all the latest VPIP/WTSD/PDA/XYZ numbers....

But really, none of you want to hear about that.
You want to know how I really roll, how I manage to BINK more often than I should.

Well, here's one top secret piece of information I can share with everyone, free of charge, right here on this very blog, that is the key to blogger tourney success.

**** Keep getting there vs. Buddy and Joanne ****

Seat 1: Joanne1111 (7,550)
Seat 7: heffmike (15,820)

Joanne1111 posts the big blind of 60

heffmike raises to 150
Joanne1111 calls 90

*** FLOP *** [7d 5d Jh]
Joanne1111 checks
heffmike bets 220
Joanne1111 calls 220
*** TURN *** [7d 5d Jh] [4h]
Joanne1111 checks
heffmike bets 550
Joanne1111 calls 550
*** RIVER *** [7d 5d Jh 4h] [4s]
Joanne1111 checks
heffmike bets 1,275
Joanne1111: just not believing you
Joanne1111 calls 1,275

Seat 7: heffmike showed [Ac Jd] and won (4,420) with two pair, Jacks and Fours
Seat 1: Joanne1111 (big blind) mucked [9s 9h] - two pair, Nines and Fours

Seat 2: Joanne1111 (50,749)
Seat 8: heffmike (28,525)

Rakewell posts the big blind of 2,000
The button is in seat #2

heffmike raises to 28,275, and is all in
Joanne1111 raises to 50,499, and is all in

Joanne1111 shows [As Kd]
heffmike shows [6h 6c]

*** RIVER *** [Th Kh 5d 6d] [2h]
Joanne1111 shows a pair of Kings
heffmike shows three of a kind, Sixes
heffmike wins the pot (61,050) with three of a kind, Sixes
AlCantHang: sweet jesus

Seat 7: BuddyDank (72,466)
Seat 8: heffmike (59,100)

BuddyDank posts the small blind of 1,200
heffmike posts the big blind of 2,400
The button is in seat #6

BuddyDank calls 1,200
heffmike checks

*** FLOP *** [3c Kc 9d]
BuddyDank bets 2,400
heffmike raises to 8,225
BuddyDank has 15 seconds left to act
BuddyDank calls 5,825
*** TURN *** [3c Kc 9d] [9h]
BuddyDank checks
heffmike: @$@&
heffmike bets 23,050
BuddyDank has 15 seconds left to act
BuddyDank folds

Seat 2: Joanne1111 (22,649)
Seat 8: heffmike (81,725)

Joanne1111 posts the big blind of 2,400
The button is in seat #8

heffmike raises to 7,225
Joanne1111 calls 4,825

*** FLOP *** [2c Qh 6h]
Joanne1111 checks
heffmike bets 17,450
Joanne1111 has 15 seconds left to act
Joanne1111 calls 15,124, and is all in
heffmike shows [8h 7s]
Joanne1111 shows [Tc Qc]

*** RIVER *** [2c Qh 6h 4h] [Kh]
heffmike shows a flush, King high
Joanne1111 shows a pair of Queens
heffmike wins the pot (47,698) with a flush, King high

Seat 6: Rakewell (118,350)
Seat 7: BuddyDank (32,281)
Seat 8: heffmike (135,869)

BuddyDank posts the small blind of 2,500
heffmike posts the big blind of 5,000
The button is in seat #6

Rakewell folds
BuddyDank has 15 seconds left to act
BuddyDank calls 2,500
heffmike checks

*** FLOP *** [6d Ah 4c]
BuddyDank bets 10,000
heffmike raises to 30,000
BuddyDank has 15 seconds left to act
BuddyDank calls 16,681, and is all in
heffmike shows [3d 6h]
BuddyDank shows [Ac 2s]

*** RIVER *** [6d Ah 4c 3h] [8s]
heffmike shows two pair, Sixes and Threes
BuddyDank shows a pair of Aces
heffmike wins the pot (65,162) with two pair, Sixes and Threes

AlCantHang: keeps changing names from Captain TwoOutter to Admiral Runner Runner
heffmike: that's Commodore Heff, to you, sir.
iaatg6296 (Observer): how about sgt suckout?
AlCantHang: Mr. Get It In Bad
heffmike: General Donk, Lower Half.
DDionysus (Observer): Maybe he's just better than most of you at poker?
heffmike: no no Dave. I SUCK.
heffmike: shush
heffmike: I really just push buttons

Yeah, I might get a little aggressive/reckless once stacks get shallow and I cover people.

But there is a method here. Someday I might even be able to explain it....

Now I do feel kind of bad doing it to this couple over and over again - they didn't deserve it.
It was just their time in the box.

Deciding what to do Wednesday night for Event #4 - if I put another superBounty out there, or if I try to get the software running long enough to hook into BDR for a few minutes as a very special guest and take my verbal abuse for being a lucksack.

Survivor: Donkey Poker Round 3

Well, Survivor Donkey Island #3 went off Sunday night - Basically, I tarded around for only 9 BI during the rebuy period - which thank god to Goat, was ONLY 30 minutes instead of 60.

Now, I would do an overinvolved, ridiclously silly recap like some people when I exert my superiority/run goot... but basically, it would be tedious. Either I got it in good and held, or got it in bad and spiked. ZZZZ.

I built a small stack at the final table, tarded it off like a champion, got it in with 8 high near the money bubble on Joanne and ran runner runner there for the personal immunity spike... and then I waited out the last member of Team Fish (Al jammed in front with AA vs 65 on the flop and lost) to make sure our team was good to go.

So I'm NOT a selfish asshole. So there.

I might have had a few scotch and gingers along the way. Maybe.

After all of that, I held on and chopped HU with Rakewell for +$140, but I had more chips, so it went in the records as a HEFFMIKE WIN. Whee me.

I can take 13/22, 2/28, 1/27 for one week's work.

And it's a shame Alcanthang is gone, but that'll happen.

During this, I quit paying attention to PokerSlut Stud/8 once the rebuy started cooking. which was a problem, because I had a decent stack and played like shit to spewtard it off.

Although when I got it all in the middle (like it matters in Stud games when you're shortstacked) I was in front and got hosed by running tens to kill Kings up.

So I got bounced on the bubble 4/8, but should have a slight lead (7 points or so) heading into next's week's final event of the 20th season, a (UHOH) $1+1 rebuy. It would be nice to winz a season title, basically because I'm motivated by silly little trinkets like that. I'm a poo-flinging monkey, isn't it obvious?

Saturday, February 19, 2011

quattro banana...

It's been a busy weekend, but at least this made me smile when it came in the mail today.

Anyhow, I haven't even had time to listen to the podcast and see what's on tap for AIPS VI, but whenever I can, deets will be posted. I'll figure out a way to update the sidebar pic too.

EDIT: Ok, finally listened in and hit the site - Cliffs for AIPS VI are:

*20 events, twice monthly through December, down from 24 events in AIPS V
3 NLHE tourneys and the HOSE event get cut.
PLO8 now LO8 (boooooooo)
2-7 Triple Draw now NL Single Draw
2 NLHE tourneys switched to PLHE and a half-and-half NLHE/PLO tourney

*Freeroll gone in place of a once-monthly $1.10 satellite to the $5.50 main tourneys.

*Schedule is really odd - as it's the sixth season, all tourneys are on days with a 6.
6th - Freerolls
16th, and 26th - Tournaments.

Now, the start times are the same (9pm Eastern on weekdays, Noon on weekends) but hopscotching the days around even more than last season should be an interesting experiment.

*ToC expanded to at least 48 players with tourney winners plus points leaders, sponsor exemptions and those who play most (18/20) of the events. Stars freeroll money will go to this prize pool instead.

*With some Blue Shark Optics sunglasses given to AIPS tourney winners, there's an over 4K overlay in the prize pool for the series.

Assuming you can remember when the tourneys are, it's worth mixing it up with these guys... I think for the most part these changes are for the good, and it's a credit to Chris and Scott that they've been able to run such a solid series, and built so much from the ground up with the whole Ante Up operation.

Go play already.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Survivor: Donkey Poker Round 2

LOLOL. so Event 2 of Survivor: Donkey Island Season 1 went off swimmingly.

Waffles spewed his immunity bounty in like .1 seconds with AK.

I decided to put a $40 bounty on Numbbono b/c he wouldn't stop crying about being voted off Sunday...

Is this open to people who were recently eliminated by their backstabbing idiot teammates?
- Hide quoted text -

On Wed, Feb 16, 2011 at 4:07 PM,(jordan) wrote:
I'm offering a last longer bet against anyone, either team. I'll pick horses if you'd prefer, or we can just do it heads up. I'll take any bets from $5 to $20. Any takers?

And somehow, Team Donkey managed to CRUSH by having five players alive when the last Team Fish player bounced 11/28. So the night was eazy peazy, except for the Numb bounty (you're welcome, muhctim, who would have been bubble boy otherwise and made out better than if he finished 4th... :-) To be honest, I roached like crazy until the final table, restole way too much (it worked), then jammed A5s into ATs and rivered the five to build a chip leading stack with five players left. Standard Heff stumbling around to build a stack.

So when wigginx, HighOnPoker and I hit the third break with immunity decided, we just chopped the freaking thing three ways - although I'm sure the way I run against him, Jordan would have crushed me like a bug HU anyway. So I got a little above second place mobney (+$74 overall) and still was up despite my bounty spewing self. I'll have to keep it up for the Mookie/Dank/insertsponsornamehere tourneys from here on out. It won't be Numb everytime unless he earns it or something,

Riggstad is second to go. 14 left.
Back for the rebuy spewtardness Sunday.
Maybe I can dump 20 BI before the break this time....

Monday, February 14, 2011

Babygirlheff says Happy Valentine's Day.

The main reason why I'm such a prickly bear - all the good essence took off to make this...

and the adventure begins...

So, Donkey Island began. $1+1 rebuy, which is POISON for me, because I'm horribly bad at rebuys. Case in point - while I didn't even bother to jam my stack until almost halfway through the rebuy period - I still spewed 19 BI before the break, counting the add-on - and I think I was in front one time sticking it in. ROFL. Pfft. I'm such a fucking fish, why am I on Team Donkey...

Anyhow, I was ok post-rebuy until I ran A2 into T6 on a TTA flop, and AK into JJ when I got fourflushed on the turn. I'm so skilled, not. I played so freaking horrid. I was lucky to be 13/22.

Hoy managed to get there for the win - sorry that NumbBono had to go- but gee, when you go out of your way to bounce almost your entire squad - that'll happen.

I ran the PokerSlut HORSE tourney too, which was only seven players, but I cashed (big $1.50 profit) and I think managed enough points to take the season lead with two tourneys to go - which are Stud/8 (woot!) and another rebuy (lemon!) so yeah, that's a lost cause...

Come out for the Mookie Wednesday> I might actually play better in a freezeout. I've gotten so little table time this month - I'm ripe for the picking and whatnot, you know? I mean, I just runner-runnered some Russian who flopped top set on a Rush 100NL table to make up for all the spewtardness tonight - so my $11 has to be EZ mobney...

Monday, February 7, 2011

Hey, a win HU!

Nothing like using IM with three people in three different places to make a work decision.

Me: short straw then? I guess J and I can roshambo.
J: should we IM C our choice?
Me: that would be hilarious
J: totally. let's do it.

J: sent mine
Me: fine, 2 of 3. who knew
C: mike wins round one with rock

J: shit
J: round 2
C: ok, two rocks

C: two rocks again

J: dammit
Me: battle of wills

C: mike wins round 2 with paper
Me: woot.
J: sigh

C: seriously lol'ing
J: that was hella fun
C: I was waiting for an endless rock battle
J: I was hoping Mike would THINK I was going to paper to kill his rock
Me: tactical brilliance, sir.

So keep throwing rock, and throwing rock, and change gears at the last minute. Whee.

In other news. freerolled about $55 from the AIPS ToC.

6-way chop at the final table, which I was fine with, especially after I finished 5th (However, I wouldn't have bluffed off half my stack in NLHE with ten-high if I was still grinding for top three/cash spots, so it all balances out.)

This guy was in a hurry to get it done - obviously had bigger fish to fry.. :-)

Thursday, February 3, 2011

sometimes it doesn't matter what you do...

Because you're going to lose flips, make laughable reads, get coolered, spew stacks and just play shitty in general...

You may be smrter than me and get away from this stuff.
I just shovel it in and hope I get there/hold.

*** I last one orbit in the VeryJosie - I end up with 43 vs a3 in a limped five way pot on a 3356A board...

I donk three streets in a row OOP and can't fold to the river shove for the last half of my stack even though I don't beat a damn thing.
If the turn doesn't give me an OESD and put a flush draw out there - maybe I pot control a little better.
But I just got too greedy on the river and stuck myself. GIGLI!!!!!!

*** Play a RushonDemand, build a good stack, limp behind an UTG limper holding QQ with 20BB.
I have a Scandi pot it behind me, and I backraise jam right into KK. Dunzo. And bleh.

*** Play a 90-man, reraise an EP raiser with QQ, have a blind jam and get there with AKo when I call him. That'll happen.
I somehow build back from 4bb to avg 25BB stack, then get it in pre with KK vs 99 and A2 for a 15K pot and there's a 9 on the flop. Sigh.

But no worries, my AJ is the nizzles again vs. A5 and T9 and I have a 9K above average stack yet again...

I finally jam AQ and get called by TT. A turn, T river :-(
Nice roller coaster ride on the variance express.

*** Mookie/Dank/yournamehere tourney runs a little better, I get to the final table and have a good stack halfway through it, then I screw around too much, especially with MiamiDon when I jam 50BB pre over his raises 3-4 times like a monkey just to get silly - then I end up on "let's try to get baby back asleep after siblings wake her up" patrol and go into autofold mode - and when that's over (after midnight, are you kidding me, babies are still awake?), I get silly and raise/call off 20BB to MiamiNit's jam threehanded with A9s and OF COURSE I'm dominated vs. AQs and bounce 3/19 for minimal cash.

I just hate when I lose focus during these tourneys and start doing stupid shit - jamming too much, folding too much, hero calling too much - instead of just playing and doing what I usually do - spiking 30/70s and pissing people off by getting there.

Hey, Survivor Poker starts soon. Someday I'll remember which team I'm on and who's on it. Not like I don't have somewhere to reference it...