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Tuesday, July 24, 2007


Ok, so if you play a few tournaments over the last week or so, and manage to double through early (like first level), yet somehow manage to end the first hour with just your starting stack (because you're just a horrible donk who raises too loose, calls too light, and always thinks a value bet is really a "move" against him) and then bounce out in hour two way, way short of the money.... what do we do about this? Do we play better, tighter, smarter?

No, somehow the next tournament we play we manage to dust off 100BB in Level 1 with AK by repopping a button raise from the big blind preflop, then bet/three-betting all in on a J-high flop. Genius.


Monday, July 16, 2007

second best player in Reston. on a good day. maybe.

I could be him.

If I was smarter, younger, and a better player, sure.... NOT.

Reston's a big place, about 55,000 people, but it's not that big. Maybe we will cross paths someday. Hell, if I went all the way to Vegas last year and my Main Event starting table had two other Northern Virginians, I feel like I should have crossed paths with Lee at some time - but I don't get out much....

Anyhow, good luck to Lee, and maybe this means I have an added reason to watch the PPV Tuesday....


a whirlwind month

Ok, so in the last month...
-I've gotten married to Jenn,
-flown to Mississippi to be a pallbearer at Jenn's sister's funeral,
-flown to Colorado to see mountains and Jenn's birth father, who she hadn't seen in over 30 years,
-flown to California for a honeymoon to taste many wines with Jenn in Sonoma Valley and see the Pacific Ocean...

Yes, it's as whirlwind as it sounds. I also have a few other major things working in the background, and it's all making me thankful, yet concerned.

It's never easy when someone your age passes on. I didn't know Jenn's sister Emily that well at all - only spent extended time with her once - but it's always tragic to see someone go at a young age, period.

What made it especially poignant for me... because Emily had battled substance abuse problems for many years, a lot of reflection centered around the potential of her youth, and her potential for recovery and rebound in the future - but skirted around the reality of her present day struggles. I kept thinking throughout the service, before, during and after I helped carry her coffin, -  "What will people say when you leave the room?"  - in both the literal and figurative sense.

I want good things to be said about me. Accomplishments noted. Positive influence in others' lives. A strong example to live by. People can remember what I actually did, not what I could have done, not "what if?"

 And so I'm trying to be a better, warmer, bigger person and let go of a lot of the steaming, grumpy Heff while trying to actually accomplish bigger picture things. In short, I want to lead a better life.

Which is only sort of working. After a wonderful honeymoon where I felt relaxed and mellow, and I think Jenn and I really gained a deeper understanding of each other - it only took me being back home 24 hours to become the grump again. I think we both have been under a lot of emotional stress, strain and extremes - and me, I get easily irritated and annoyed when poked with a stick, so to speak.

 I can't stand unfulfilled potential, goals and tasks not being accomplished because of a lack of effort, not ability - and I'm letting it drive me completely nuts. I'm just so frustrated over so many things, even though we're in a very wonderful spot overall. Family worries me - mine, hers, ours. I worry about Jenn, and hope she's dealing with this well, and that I'm actually being helpful. Arrgh. This too shall pass.......

Anyhow, in poker news, I'm keeping track of the WSOP Main Event with some interest after my inglorious six-hour run last year... A deep Scotty Nguyen run would be the most entertaining thing to happen, although it would mean all the donks would start blabbering in bad pidgin-asian speak for months... - I think I will try to seriously grow the bankroll, or at least try to satellite into a FTOPS or WCOOP event again next month.... I swear, the more I play recently, the more I wonder if anyone really knows what they are doing - I'm playing more limit, more HORSE and O/8, and I see horrible, horrible plays every table I sit down at and wonder where the money is still coming from for these donks to keep playing - probably from me, they are the smart ones and I actually am the dumb, sucking donkey, but who knows.

The older and supposedly wiser I get, the dumber I really think I am.
But I will keep trying - both in life - and in cards - to be better.

(AIPS, Mookie, all this week, maybe?)


Thursday, July 5, 2007

Fourth of July, Cortez, Colorado

a pit stop on the way to Napa/Sonoma.... yeah, point and shoots don't do fireworks well..